2 Samuel 11-14
Love or Lust?

"Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me? Amnon saaid to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister" (2 Samuel 13:1-4).

As the story goes on, Jonadab gives his friend advice on how to lure his half-sister in and take advantage of her. Against Tamar's wishes, Amnon did just that-and raped her. After having his way with her, he tossed her out, seemingly in disgust. The story concludes in v. 19 with the image of a broken young woman running away, and v. 20 tells us, "So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house."

Certainly, Amnon's feelings for Tamar matched few, if any, of the description of love given in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

Amnon's problem was he confused love with lust. And, some 3000 years later, the same thing still happens every day. Our society has blurred the line between love and lust. Songs speak of two people being "in love"; magazines tell how to seduce the one you "love"; movies are filled with people who "love" each other, only to leave one another when they have taken what they want from the other. The truth is, we are not a society that glorifies love, but one that glorifies lust-raw, unbridled desire. It is seen all around us-from commercials to the park to the beach. Meanwhile in homes where husbands and wives drift further apart, children are beaten and neglected, adultery and pornography rule, real, Biblical love is hard to find. Love and lust are very different.

Paul taught us that love is about the other person, while lust is often only about self. Strong physical attraction is not a sinful thing in the proper arena. In fact, it is a God-given emotion and has a wonderful place in a caring, committed, God-ordained relationship. But, it isn't love, and it isn't all there is to marriage. Love is deeper and longer lasting. Love can endure even when the physical relationship, for whatever reason, wanes or ceases.

Young people, do yourself a favor and avoid the mistake of Amnon-make certain you understand the difference between these two.